Diary of a Chav

By Grace Dent

First off, what is a chav? A chav is a poor, working class person in Britain. More especially, it's those kids who hang out on the street wearing track suits and hoodies and athletic shoes and lots of flashy jewelry and who are regarded by their elders as a menace to society, what we used to call juvenile delinquents. For a deeper look into the word, see Michael Quinions' website, World Wide Words.
So, in this case, the chav (which she strongly denies being) is Shiraz, a young British teen (she's 15) who has brains and talent but no ambition to speak of. Except of someday starring on Big Brother because she has a big mouth and thinks she could bring a lot of controversy to the show and makes heaps of money so doing.
The book is presented in diary format with entries describing the trials and tribulations of her young life: a smelly brother, an alienated older sis, a loud mouth mother and a quiet father, an obese pet dog, small breasts, fears of being a lesbian (she isn't), and friend who gets so wrapped up in a boy that she forgets to be a friend. Still, in the end, after some hairy adventures, one of which involves a mashed rat, Shiraz gets her act together and manages to bring a little more peace and understanding to her family at the same time.

Hey, it's not a deep read but it's the kind of thing that teens would probably enjoy reading a lot. I liked the book, mainly for its look at a pretty average teen's life in Britain today. Very interesting, I felt.

The book is chock full of British teen slang but the author provides a glossary at the back, which really came in handy, some of which I have included here in my new words list.

New Words

Baps: breasts.

Barney: an argument.

Bashment: a party.

Bhaji: any of various Indian dishes of fried vegetables.

Bint: annoying woman.

Blank: to ignore someone.

Blinding: amazing, incredible.

Boffins: scientists, engineers, and other people who are stereotypically seen as engaged in technical or scientific research.

Bogtrots: diarrhea.

Bredren: brothers or brother.

Busking: performing in public places for money; doing street perfomances.

Buzzing: feeling really excited.

Chattering classes: people who write newspapers and TV shows and who seem to know everything.

Chuck a sickie: call in to work sick when you're not.

Chuffed: happy, pleased.

Cotch: to hang out or stay someplace.

Dossing: being idle, doing nothing.

Duffers: elderly people.

Earwigging: listening in to other people's conversations.

Eid: the annual Islamic festival that ends Ramadan.

Fangita-eater: lesbian.

Fit: handsome.

Fizzing: angry, irate.

Flash: fancy, posh.

Flog: to sell something.

Front someone out: stand up to someone.

Gaff: house, home.

Geezer: a man, a guy.

Get the hump: take offense.

Gob: the mouth; also to spit.

Gobby: talkative.

Goolies: testicles.

Grass someone up: tattle on.

Grime: a type of UK rap, dance music.

Grime collective: a group of people who make grime music.

Gutted: to be very disappointed.

Hacked off: annoyed.

Hackiest look: a dirty look.

Have a butcher's at someone: to take a look at.

Keema nan: bread stuffed with a layer of minced meat curry then baked.

Kip: sleep.

Knackered: tired.

Knob: penis.

Kofta: meat or vegetable ball popular in the Balkans, the Middle and Far East.

Lairy: aggressive, ready to fight.

Lemon: lesbian.

Liberty: a person who does whatever they want.

Lush: handsome, gorgeous.

Mardy: sulky.

Minge, Minging: ugly.

Minger: ugly person.

Mufties: female crotch.

Mush: the mouth.

Narky: in a bad mood; takes offense easily.

Norks: breasts.

Pakora: a fritter.

Passanda: a mild curry.

Pepperami: a pork sausage snack.

Pikey: a gypsy or any poor person.

Pissed: drunk.

Quids in: rich, wealthy.

Rabbit on: talk too much.

Rudegirl: tough girl, gang girl.

Scrounging: begging.

Skint: broke, no money.

Skiving: skipping work or school.

Skunk: marijuana.

Slagging: talking bad about someone.

Snog: kiss.

Staffy: bull terrier.

Strop: a hissy fit.

Swot: a studious student who gets good grades.

Take the mikey: to make fun of someone or have a joke with them; tease.

Tat: junk, garbage, worthless stuff.

Trackie: track or sweat suit.

Trollop: a woman of loose morals.

Up the duff: pregnant.

Waffling on: talking on and on.

WAGs: wives and girlfriends, said of football players' women.

Well: very.

Well butterz: very ugly.

Welly: plastic, waterproof boots.

Wind-up merchant: someone who enjoys playing tricks on people or getting people all wound up or annoyed.

Whinge: whine, moan, complain.