Middlegame

 

By Seanan McGuire

A. Deborah Baker was probably the world's most skilled modern alchemist. So skilled she manufactured a human being of her own, James Reed. Reed was also a greatly skilled alchemist which is something his peers should have kept in mind. But just like they did with Baker, treating her as inferior simply because she was a woman, they also acknowledged Reed's skills but did not give him the respect he craved. For this error, they would pay for their lives in one fell swoop.

Reed was an ambitious creature and he wanted to rule the Universe by bringing about the Impossible City. Once this was accomplished, he would have the powers of an actual god. But since Reed was a cruel monster, this would be horrendous for everyone and everything else.

Reed had a plan. If he could embody the Doctrine of Ethos in human form, this would trigger the Impossible City. [I wish I could explain this idea better, but frankly it is way beyond my ability to even understand what the author was on about.] Reed did this by making lab grown twin babies who, as they matured, would come together and [ I didn't comprehend that part either] become the Doctrine of Ethos. [I never figured out what the Doctrine of Ethos was.] 

There were lots of failures. But finally Reed has two sets of twins who seemed to be shaping up to attain success manifesting the Doctrine. The oldest set was headed down the right track, but there were also problems. The younger set of twins was Reed's backup plan if the first set crashed and burned.

So the plan required that the twins be kept separate until maturity. So one twin was fostered on the East Coast of the US and the other twin on the West Coast. But distance was not enough to keep the kids apart and they found each other, psychically. The male twin, Roger, was a whiz at words. The female twin, Dodger, was a whiz at math.

Meanwhile, Reed and his chief minion, Leigh, the bloodthirsty witch, were busy making life hard for the younger set of twins and for anyone else who happened to be in their orbit. These two villains are just about as nasty as is possible to be. 

By the time Roger and Dodger are college age, Reed has decided they will not do and he sends his minions to murder them. But one of the minions is not loyal and she helps Roger and Dodger escape. Leigh, the witch, hunts them down and the battle ensues.

This book was way too long. And it required a suspension of belief of which I was not capable. I never got the Doctine of Ethos thing figured out or why it's achievement would create godlike beings of the twins or why once they reached their godhood they would pay any attention to the crazed desires of those two lunatic monsters, Reed and Leigh. 

Most of the book is about Roger and Dodger growing up and finding each other and discovering their special connection. On and on it went, it got really boring. And the evil machinations of Reed and Leigh in the background also went on and on.

But towards the end, it was like reading a video game, where the two hero twins have to face the final bosses. Meh. I don't like those kind of video games. The closer I got to the end, the more I just skipped so much wordage, just wanting it over. Frankly, if I hadn't spent almost $30 for the book, I probably would have just quit halfway, 250 pages in.

However, it seems lots of readers really like the book. So I will call it a good read. I just think I was not brainy enough to enjoy it. Maybe it should have a warning, like You Must Have a High IQ to Understand this Novel.

Here is a review by Kirkus.

Discount Armageddon

 

By Seanan McGuire

Cryptid:  an animal (such as Sasquatch or the Loch Ness Monster) that has been claimed to exist but never proven to exist. 

Cryptozoologist: a person who studies cryptids.

Like Verity Price. Who lives in New York City and works as a waitress but whose true profession is studying and discovering and helping all the cryptids (and there are a lot) who make the city their home. Indeed, most of the girls who work are her job at Dave's Fish and Strips are cryptids. There's Carol, the gorgon. Candy the dragon princess. Marcy the oread, some kind of mineral-based stony girl. And Istas the waheela, a sort of werebear. All of these girls disguise themselves to pass as human. And some, like Istas, are shapeshifters. 

Cryptozoology is Verity's family's vocation, one she was raised to become from childhood. But she would much rather be a professional ballroom dancer and she dances under the name of Valerie Pryor and she moved to New York to be closer to the ballroom dancing scene. But she still works in the family business as a cryptozoologist, tracking and studying all the cryptids in the city. 

Her family has a long history as cryptozoologists, going back generations. At one point they were part of an organization, the Covenant, whose main goal is locating and exterminating cryptids they view as dangerous. Like dragons, which they managed to wipe out. But Verity's ancestors realized that many cryptids are intelligent beings that, if left alone, are harmless. And so they left the Covenant, which put them on the Covenant's hit list as traitors to the grand cause. 

Between waitressing, dancing and training to keep her fighting skills topnotch, Verity has come to realize that someone is causing many cryptid people to disappear. She soon stumbles upon who she thinks is the cause, a Covenant agent newly arrived in New York, Dominic De Luca. But as he explains, he has only killed a few non-sapient cryptid animals. Further inquires reveal that the cryptids who have gone missing are all young, female virgin-type creatures. And further investigation seems to point to a snake cult sacrificing these girls to a dragon who is living under New York City. 

So Verity has her work cut out for her: she has to protect and warn the local cryptid girls, stop the snake cult from killing people, locate the dragon without turning it lose on the city, as in Godzilla time, and keep the Covenant agent from killing all her cryptid friends and coworkers and from killing the last surviving dragon left in the world. 

This was a fun read, exciting and a bit silly with lots of whacky characters, the whackiest being Verity herself. She hurls herself into danger like a daredevil and shares her apartment with a tribe of sentient mice who have formed a religion around the mundane aspects of her life.  And she works with a group of cryptids who know about her family's past association with the Covenant, which causes them to view her as a possible danger to their very lives, which makes for some tension at her job. 

Oh, and of course, she falls for the Covenant agent and they end up in bed together. Naturally.

Here is a review of the novel by Publishers Weekly.