Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Love Bites


By Lynsay Sands

Rachel works in the morgue. One night a guy is brought in who was the victim of a car bomb. As she starts to prepare his body for the post mortem, she notices some rather odds things about his injuries. Like they seem to not be as bad as when his body was first brought in. And like maybe he has a heartbeat. But before she can take a closer look, a man bursts into the morgue and screams that the victim is a vampire and he wants to behead him with a large ax. Just as he swings the ax, Rachel, anxious to protect what maybe not a dead body but a living patient, steps in front of the ax and takes the brunt of it. It is a fatal blow. The man, seeing what he has done, flees.
Etienne, the dead body, wakes up to find Rachel dying. The only thing he can do to save her is to make her like him, a vampire. He and his family sneak her out of the hospital and to his house, there to guide her through the process of learning about the vampire life and, incidentally, to fall in love.

Like so many modern vampires, Etienne and family are not like the old-fashioned vamps. Yes, sun is a problem, but can be tolerated briefly. Garlic, crosses, holy water are not effective against them and they rely on packaged blood for nourishment. Biting people is frowned upon and those who do are dealt with by the vampire community. Oh and the vampirism is the result of a type of nano that lives off blood and keeps the vampire's body healthy and strong. As Rachel discovers when she completes the change over and finds that her breasts are perkier than she can ever remember. Also her scars disappear, including the fatal blow that almost resulted in her death. Which makes me wonder, if old injuries heal themselves, does that include her hymen? Which would of course continue to repair itself after each act of intercourse...
Anyway, this story is basically a romance novel with a vampire twist. It has lots of graphic sex scenes including one in which Rachel gives Etienne a blow job and finishes it off by biting his penis and drinking his blood. It's pretty gross. Not as gross as the blowjob talked about by the whore in PELIKAN, but still it's right up there. The story isn't too long on plot as most of the story scene never leaves Etienne's house except for a two brief excursions, one to a vampire night club and another to Etienne's mom's house. In fact, until the end when the ax guy finally makes his reappearance, there just isn't much happening at all. Just a lot sex. It's really just porn for women. I'm not a fan of it and, adding in the rather thin plot, I have to say I didn't really care for the book. There are several more in the series, of which I plan to read none.

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