Thursday, July 29, 2010

Nothing's Sacred


By Lewis Black

The abbreviated story of Lewis Black's life, with numerous shots at religion, school, economics, Americans, and, of course, politics and politicians. Lewis grew up in the suburbs, a Jewish kid in a not very religious family. A child of the 60s and an active participant in the counterculture movement, Lewis did all the typical things kids of that era were supposed to do, drugs, sex (not so much) and rock and roll. Still, he managed not only to graduate college but to go on to earn a Masters in drama from Yale.
Lewis has a real nose for bullshit and he loves bringing it to our attention and good for him. We need people like Lewis to point out the absurdities. Talking about gay marriage, here is his take on why the Old Testament states that man must marry woman:
Now, to be fair, there's a good reason why the Old Testament states that man must marry woman. It's because at that time, the Jewish people weren't civilized, and the Bible was, in large part, written for that very reason—to civilize people. So the leaders were forced to come up with a God who was such a prick he could keep those peckerheads in line. And I don't want to get any mail about this, but we were, as a breed, only ten hairs away from being baboons back then. So they came up with this really scary God and a list of rules, and they told everybody that God was there to enforce those rules.
They needed to do this because as the Jews were wandering around willy-nilly in the desert, one of them no doubt led a camel up to a rabbi and said, "I met her at an oasis and it's been wonderful. She looked at me in a way that I've always wanted to be looked at. We're in love and, well, Rabbi, we want to be married."
And the rabbi said, "Perhaps you didn't notice, but she's a fucking camel." Then he went back to the other rabbis and informed them, "Son of a bitch, we have to come up with another rule! Today a guy came back with a camel and yesterday one of them showed up with a snapping turtle. God knows what's going to happen tomorrow. We've got to get these people on track." Hence, the man-woman marriage rule in the Bible.


This is a funny, profane, vulgar book and I really enjoyed reading it. It is not for the easily offended though.

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