Never Cry "Arp!" and Other Great Adventures

 

By Patrick F. McManus

A collection of humorous stories about childhood, camping, friendship and hunting and fishing. The title story, Never Cry "Arp!" concerns two grade school boy, the author and his dear friend, Crazy Eddie Muldoon, who, "at the age of eight, was a sort of magnet to injuries. It was almost as though Eddie scheduled his injuries for the day when he got up in the morning.

8:00 Stub big toe of left foot.

8:35 Step on rusty nail with right foot.

9:05 Get stung over left eye by bee.

10:30 Run sliver in hand while whittling.

10:35 Cut finger while whittling.

11:00 Twist ankle jumping off pigpen fence.

11:22 Get tick embedded behind left ear.

12:00 Lunch.

1:15 Get stung by nettles.

2:00 Get bitten by the Petersons' dog."

 But the last incident recounted in the story that resulted in Eddie getting injured was when he and Pat were biking down a steep hill and Eddie's pant leg got caught in his bike's chain. He got so banged up that when Pat asked him if he was OK, all Eddie could say was, 'Arp arp arp.'

The other stories in the collection are

• Skunk Dog
• The Mountain
• Reading Sign
• Kid Brothers and Their Practical Application
• Real Ponies Don't Go Oink!
• Secret Places
• A Really Nice Blizzard
• Cubs
• Muldoon in Love
• Not Long for This Whirl
• The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw

The stories in this collection are some of Pat's best, and all deal with his younger days, which are my personal favorite. Someone should publish a collection of all his tall tales from his childhood and teen years. They are always hilarious!