Making Waves

 

By Tawna Fenske

So Juli Flynn has it rough. She beautiful and smart and sexy and has naturally blonde, curly hair. Poor thing. Anyways, she feels she has it rough, mainly because she "the world's smartest woman" with an IQ of 186. She is fluent in several languages, proficient in several professions, but has never found her place in life, drifting from one thing to another. Then her beloved Uncle Frank passes away and Juli is in charge of scattering his ashes on a coral reef in the Caribbean. 

Problem is Juli is afraid of the ocean. She loved her Uncle Frank and has decided she will hire a boat and dispose of his ashes just as he wished. But first she is going take some motion sickness medicine but has a weird reaction to the medication. In her drugged state, she mistakes a private vessel as the one she hired to take her to her Uncle's chosen resting place. She climbs on board unseen and passes out in the stateroom. No one notices her until they are quite far out to sea. 

Turns out Juli has boarded a pirate boat (ship, whatever, I don't care). And the pirates are a strange lot, not nearly as piratey as one would expect. Turns out they are first time pirates, out to exact revenge on their boss who gave them all the shaft. They expect to intercept a ship belonging to the boss that they think is carrying a hidden cargo of diamonds. Discovering they have a stowaway does not make them happy. Luckily for Juli, these pirates are not really criminal types, despite their plan steal their former boss's diamonds. And Juli, being the world's smartest woman, soon has them all wrapped around her finger. Especially the captain, Alex, who, of course is virile and handsome and lonely and will eventually end up doing the deed with the heroine, Juli. Although the author chooses to draw their courtship out to the very end by making sure neither Juli or Alex has access to condoms for the few days they are stuck on the boat together. 

Even though they are not willing to consummate their relationship without protection, they still have a lot of fun working each other up, including a game of strip Battleship, which runs nine pages of excruciatingly lusty detail.

The plot gets a bit convoluted and involves some real pirates and some dildos and  Juli and one of the beginner pirates dressing up as prostitutes and other such madcap nonsense that is supposed to be hilarious.

Guess it's pretty clear I did not care for the book. I didn't find it funny. The plot is silly, and not in a good way. The characters were not appealing, no matter how hard the author worked to make them quirky and funny. Reading, it felt like the whole purpose of the book was to tantalize the reader with Juli and Alex almost having sex. This book is just one almost-sex scene after the other with a little plot woven in. Like a pornographic novel, where the plot merely serves the sexual activity.