Right Ho, Jeeves

 

By P.G. Wodehouse

Berti and Jeeves are off to the country to visit Berti's favorite aunt, Dahlia Travers. She needs his help in a little matter of talking her spouse into a small loan, money that is vital to keeping her ladies' magazine going. Uncle Tom already gave her the money but she blew gambling in Cannes, France. She also wanted to enlist Berti as the guest speaker at a local grammar school event. He weaseled out of it by sending an old friend of his in his place, Gussie Fink-Nottle. Gussie, devoted newt fancier, has fallen in love with one Madeline Bassett, who just happens to be visiting at Brinkley Court, the country estate of Tom and Dahlia Travers. Gussie is quite happy to be going to Brinkley Court where he hopes he will be able to overcome his extreme shyness long enough to propose to Madeline. Berti neglected to mention the speech to the grammar school boys though. 

Aunt Dahlia gives Berti some news that sends him to Brinkley Court anyway. She tells him that a friend of his, Tuppy Glossop, who is also visiting at Brinkley, got into an argument with his fiancée, Angela, Dahlia's daughter and the engagement is off. The argument was about whether Angela was pestered by a shark while swimming in the ocean off Cannes. She claims it was definitely a shark but Tuppy holds that it was a submerged log or a flatfish. Angela fired back that Tuppy was a glutton and fat and out of shape. Feelings were hurt and the engagement called off. 

Bertie has a rather high opinion of himself and, instead of laying all these problems at the capable Jeeves' feet, declares he will handle it all by himself, namely Gussie's lack of a backbone, Angela and Tuppy's silly spat and Aunt Dahlia's need of more money from her tightwad husband. Because of Bertie's bungling, he ends up engaged to Madeline. Angela ends up engaged to Gussie. Tuppy, who despite Angela's slurs, is a real bruiser, is out to murder Gussie, for stealing Angela from him. And Anatole, Dahlia's fancy French chef is threatening to quit and go back to France, this also due to Bertie's bungling efforts. Finally Bertie admits the only one who can handle this mess is Jeeves, of course.

Though this plot is the same plot that make up many of Wodehouse's Bertie and Jeeves stories: young lovers unable to find each other or falling apart due to mistakes and misunderstandings, with the young women ending up, at some point, engaged to marry Bertie. And their jilted lovers out for Bertie's blood or a rival's blood, anxious to win back their lover. But not as anxious as Bertie is to escape his entanglements. It's the same basic plot but the complications that always crop up are hilarious and laugh out loud funny! 

Just a quick note to say that this book was first published in the early 1930s. Attitudes towards people of different races is dated compared to what we would like it to be these days. 

Also, this book can be read for free on the Project Gutenberg website. It is now in the public domain in the USA and no longer under copyright.

Piccadilly Jim

 

By P.G. Wodehouse

Young Jimmy Crocker has been having too much fun and his antics have attracted the attention of the newspapers. So much so that, even though he is currently living in Britain, even the New York papers are reporting on this former New Yorker's peccadilloes. The latest is the knockout punch to the face of a well known young British member of the upper class, Lord Percy Whipple. 

Jim's stepmother is the one who moved Jim and his dad Bingley from New York City to London. Recently married to the dad, Eugenia is crazy to carve a place for herself and Bingley among the nobs. Her great ambition is having Bingley made a lord. But she fears that Jim's latest stunt has spoiled Bingley's chance of achieving that distinction. When Jim hears from his dad how upset the stepmom is, he decides he had best remove himself from the scene and so he heads off to buy a ticket to NYC. While doing so, he encounters and is immediately smitten by the sight of a lovely young woman, Ann Chester. Overhearing her talking to a friend, Jim finds out that, for reasons unknown to him, Ann despises Jimmy Crocker, she says he is a "perfect, utter, hopeless worm." He also figures out that Ann did not recognize him when they spoke briefly earlier. So he books passage on the same ship she will be returning to New York on and introduces himself to her as Bayliss. 

They arrive in New York as fast friends and while dining out together, Jim is recognized by an old friend and greeted by his real name. Naturally Ann is surprised and has questions which he dismisses by claiming no knowledge of this Jimmy Crocker and telling his friend that he is mistaken. Ann believes him. 

Speaking of Ann, her family has its problems too. Namely Ogden Ford. Ann lives with her uncle, Peter Pett. Pett has a wife with a son, this Ogden, who is fourteen and pain in his stepfather's side, sitting in Pett's favorite chair and smoking Pett's cigarettes. Pett wants to ship the boy off to boarding school. The mother refuses to discipline the lad and Ogden has become a spoiled, overweight brat.  Ann and Pett have hatched a scheme to deal with Ogden. They want to kidnap him and send him off to the care of a veterinarian who has had great success getting spoiled, fat pet dogs back in to shape and trained. As Jim becomes more involved with Ann, he gets drawn into the kidnap Ogden plan and soon moves into the Pett mansion.

As a society hostess and famous author, Mrs Pett loves hosting parties and having rising young artists as house guests. But she lives in fear of her precious Ogden being kidnapped, a not unreasonable fear, as Ogden has been kidnapped twice before. The arrival of a new house guest, Ann's new friend Bayliss and that of a new butler at the same time and a word in her ear by one of the other house guests, Lord Wisbeach, has her a bit on edge. So she hires a detective to do some detecting. Things become more and more complicated. Jim has still not revealed his true identity to the woman he has decided is the love of his life, Ann. Who is engaged to Lord Wisbeach, not because she cares for him but because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. 

Wodehouse has certainly worked up a complicated plot here with Jim pretending not to be Jim. And his dad pretending to be a butler. And Lord Wisbeach, who is not a lord of any kind. And the detective pretending to be a parlor maid. And Ogden, who figures out the kidnapping scheme and is fine with it, as long as he gets half of the ransom. As he says, "I've got something valuable to sell, and I'm darned if I'm going to keep giving it away." 

But I didn't find it as amusing as some of Wodehouse's other novels. The machinations of Jim and Ann just can't compare to the mastermind, Jeeves.  I enjoyed the story and enjoyed seeing how Jim got himself out of the entanglement he created. But it never really made me chuckle.

You can read the book online for free at Project Gutenberg.

The Old Reliable

 

By P.G. Wodehouse

Poor Smedley Cork is a bird in a gilded cage, yearning to escape to freedom. When his wealthy brother died, the terms of his will required his widow to take care of Smedley for the rest of his life. And the widow, Adela Cork, follows the terms of the will to the letter, providing room and board for Smedley but nothing more. Plus she makes him drink yoghurt everyday, something Smedley deeply resents,

But Smedley has a plan. Before the Corks bought their mansion, it used to be the home of a Hollywood star who was known for the many lovers she entertained in her bedroom. She died in a plane crash and the Corks bought the mansion fully furnished with all her belongings. Rumor has that she kept a diary that has never been found. Smedley has a plan to search the premises for this diary and then sell it for $50,000. And thus gain his freedom from his hated gilded cage.

But there are snags. Mainly Wilhemina, who has loved Smedley since she was a young woman and a Smedley running free with $50,000 in his pocket is not a Smedley who would be willing to settle down and marry "Bill," as Wilhemina goes by. Second is a larcenous butler who also knows about the diary and feels it will be much better off in his hands than in Smedley's. And finally, when the diary is found, there's Adela, who has snatched the diary right out of Smedley's hands and locked it up in safe. She also wants that $50,000 to pay, as she says, for all the money she has spent maintaining Smedley in her home. She's not a very nice person. But all will come out right in the end, although probably not the way that Smedley was hoping for.

This is a typical Wodehouse plot, just reworked with different characters. But even though the plot is quite familiar and predictable, it still is a good, funny read.

 

The Butler Did It

 

By P.G. Wodehouse

It's a tontine! 

It all begin with a gathering of New York millionaires at J.J. Bunyan house. In addition to the millionaires, also in attendance were an art expert, Mortimer Bayliss, who worked for Bunyan and Bunyan's butler, Augustus Keggs. It was the Bayliss who suggested the tontine. Each of the ten millionaires would contribute $50,000 to the pot. But instead of the last millionaire standing getting the approximately $500,000, the money would go to the millionaires' son that was the last one to get married. Of course, the sons were not to know about the tontine.

Jump forward about twenty-five years. All of the millionaires' sons except two have gotten married. One is J.J.'s son, Roscoe who is now living in England as is J.J.'s former butler, Keggs. Turns out Keggs was listening in when the tontine was formed and it also turns out Keggs is a man with rather flexible morals. He goes to Roscoe and reveals to him the facts of the tontine, expecting Roscoe will pay him well for the information. Instead all he gets from Roscoe is 50£. In revenge, Keggs fingers the wrong man, namely one Stanhope Twine, as the other man in the running for the tontine payout. Knowing Twine is an unsuccessful artist who is engaged to a friend of Keggs and that Twine is too poor to actually marry his fiancee, Keggs suggests that if Roscoe bought a piece of Twine's art for a hefty sum, about $20,000, then Twine would be able to marry his fiancee, Jane Benedick. Roscoe decides it's a good idea and spends $20,000 on Twine's sculpture.

Meanwhile, Bill Hollister, whose father was one of the tontine millionaires, is also in England, working at an art gallery. He happens to meet Twine's fiancee, Jane Benedick, and he falls in love at first sight. Jane's uncle, Lord Uffenham, is trying to sell off some of his old family paintings and is working with Bill's art gallery. Uffenham doesn't like Twine and when he discovers Bill has fallen for Jane, he bonks Bill in the head in order to make Jane realize she loves Bill too. And it works, Jane rushes to his side with bandages and gentle caresses. 

And Keggs springs his revenge on Roscoe, revealing that Roscoe wasted his money on the wrong man. Keggs also tells Bill that his dad was part of the tontine and if Roscoe marries first, Bill will get the $500,000. But if it means Bill can't marry Jane, Bill is not interested. He would rather be with Jane than with the $500,000. 

But somehow true love will triumph and Wodehouse makes all right at the end.

This is a typical later Wodehouse story of lovers overcoming complications and finding each other, and usually getting a bit of loot in the process. Same story, slightly different circumstances. Still I thought the tontine plot was pretty good and I did enjoy the story.

Spring Fever

 

By P.G. Wodehouse

Young lovers of the late 1940s, thwarted in love. First is Stanwood Cobbold, a strong young fellow but none too sharp, Stan has a very rich father who does not approve of Stan's love interest, Eileen Stoker. She is a Hollywood actress and she is off to London and has told Stan she will not marry him because he is dependent on his father for money. 

Next is Lord Shortlands, aka Shorty. He is in love with his cook, Alice Punter. But he shares his home, Beevor Castle, with his rival, the butler, Mervyn Spink. Spink also desires to wed Mrs. Punter, but neither man measures up to her demands: she wants to own a pub and be her own boss. The man she marries must be able to provide her with said pub. Neither Shorty nor Spink can do so. Shorty's income is nil after taxes and he depends upon his eldest daughter for spending money. And Spink is a gambler but not a very lucky gambler.

And then there is Lady Teresa, also one of Shorty's daughters (there's three of them). She would like to fall in love with Mike Cardinal, a Hollywood agent who is also in London trying to get Eileen to sign with his agency. Mike is leading-man-handsome and Terry had a bad experience with a handsome young actor who cheated on her. She fears that Mike is also what she calls a flibbertigibbet, according to her a man who chases after other women while wooing one woman. 

They all end up at Beevor Castle, with Mike posing as Stan, and Stan posing as a Mr. Rossiter, with Shorty and Spink hatching various plans to get their hands on the funds needed to woo Mrs. Punter and with Terry becoming engaged three different times to Stan and Mike. And I can't leave out Augustus Robb, a former burglar and booze-hound who has reformed and is now an ardent Christian and employed as Stan's valet and who turns out to be a dark horse.

To quote the Scottish poet, Robert Burns, "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley / An' lae'e us nought but grief an' pain, / For promised joy." So it is with the schemes of the plotters in Beevor Castle. But unlike Burns' little mouse, all comes out beautifully in the end. A fun and lighthearted story, typical Wodehouse, I really enjoyed reading it again. 

Bertie Wooster Sees It Through

 

By P.G. Wodehouse

Bertie has woman problems once again. When Lady Florence Craye asks Bertie to escort her to a night club, Bertie ends up being arrested in a police raid and Florence ends up breaking off her engagement to G. D'Arcy Cheesewright. Florence then transfers her attention to Bertie, to whom she was once engaged, laboring under the misapprehension that Bertie always has been and still is hopelessly in love with her. Which he isn't. But he is too diffident to tell her the truth.

The rejected suitor, D'Arcy longs to murder the man he blames for Florence's defection. But he has placed a large bet on Bertie winning a darts tournament and the money is more important than revenge. 

Bertie's favorite aunt needs his help with a financial matter and Bertie travels to Brinkley Court to help Aunt Dahlia out. Things being what they are, D'Arcy and Florence are also staying there along with several others. All of these people are involved in various plots, with poets and novelists and ladies' magazines and hen-pecked husbands and fake necklaces and angry accusations and blackmail and burglary and broken engagements and new lovers and plotting spouses and mustaches and ladders at windows. And, of course, Jeeves, Bertie's manservant, who is the only one who can see the way through.

This is a classic Bertie and Jeeves story. It is silly and fun and it makes you wish so very much that you could be there, with Bertie and Jeeves and jolly Old England. It has everything you want in a Bertie and Jeeves story and it does not disappoint. Lighthearted, comical and a grand trip to a time and place that never really existed except in the mind of P.G Wodehouse.

The Return of Jeeves

 

By P. G. Wodehouse

In post-WW II Britain, the landed gentry are finding the new socialism difficult. High taxes are making huge estates too expensive to keep up. One such member of the landed gentry is Bill Towcester (pronounced "toaster"), the ninth Earl of Towcester. All that is left of his estate is Towcester Abbey, a huge old building that is falling to bits.

Bill is so broke he has turned to being a bookie to make ends meet. Disguised with an eyepatch and a fake mustache, Bill travels to the various horse races and accepts gamblers' bets on the outcomes. So far it has worked very well and Bill was able to start spending a little money on the Abbey. 

But then one of the gamblers wins big and Bill doesn't have the cash on him to pay the man. So he runs away, pursued by the man, Captain Biggar. Biggar is a man of the world and a big game hunter who has returned home to Britain for the first time in years.

Bill has a hot prospect who is showing interest in buying his house, Rosalinda Spottsworth, a fabulously wealthy widow with a strongly romantic side. Introduced to Bill by his sister, Monica, Rosalinda is hoping the house is haunted and Bill is hoping she doesn't notice how rundown the place is. Rosalinda, Monica and her husband Rory are all staying at the house.

Too bad for Bill, but Biggar has traced Bill's car to Towcester Abbey and when Rosalinda finds out he is in the house, she asks Monica to invite him to stay because he is a very old friend of hers. Monica agrees, without telling Bill. When Bill finds out that Biggar is actually staying in his house, he can only hope that his bookie disguise will keep Biggar from recognizing him. But the cat is let out of the bag when Monica's dimwit spouse Rory unearths the disguise from a chest in full view of Biggar. 

Meanwhile, Jeeves. Jeeves has been working as Bill's butler while Bertie Wooster is in a reeducation camp for the idle rich. It was Jeeves' idea that Bill become a bookie. Jeeves was actually working as Bill's sidekick in the bookie business, also wearing a disguise similar to Bill's. And now it is Jeeves who must save Bill from Captain Biggar's righteous wrath and at the same time help Bill talk Rosalinda into buying Towcester Abbey and also keep Bill's fiancée Jill from finding about the bookie business as she is anti-gambling. 

This is a fun read, full of jokes and nonsense like this choice example: "'Good heavens,' said Monica, 'bells at Towcester Abbey don't ring. I don't suppose they've worked since Edward the Seventh's days. If Uncle George wished to summon the domestic staff, he just shoved his head back and howled like a prairie wolf.'" 

This book was published in 1953 and by then Wodehouse was in his seventies. But it is just as silly and enjoyable as his earlier works. Wodehouse was a prolific author and probably best known for his short stories and for his most famous creation, Jeeves.