Saturday, July 29, 2023

Bless Your Heart, Tramp and Other Southern Endearments

 


By Celia Rivenbark


A collection of Rivenbark's humor columns from the from about the 1990s. Mainly centered on how Southerners live and talk. It has three sections, At Home; The South; And Everywhere Else. 

A new Barbie movie came out this summer 2023 and this collection has her essay about Barbie turning forty in 1999. Here is a short selection from that column:


'And at forty, why couldn't Mattel make Barbie suddenly start shrieking phrases in public place like "WHERE'S MY PURSE?" only to find it on her lap. Right alongside her ta-ta's.

To her credit, Barbie has been one heck of a role model for womankind. She's been a doctor, skydiver, race car driver, mother of triplets, professional lambada dancer, Twirling Ballerina, everything but a double-naught spy.

The problem is she's done it all with what the experts have deduced through mathematical calculations would be a physique measuring six feet tall and weighing 110 pounds. Y'all put your hands together and show some love for Bulimic Barbie.

Of course she's just a doll and such measurements are part of the fantasy. Remember, with dolls, all things are possible. Including having triplets with Ken.'


Which is a pretty good sample of the author's brand of humor. Pretty funny most of the time and at worst, mildly amusing. 



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